Splashed Saddness

This is taken from a blog called "Life Under the Lights" about EMS. The article is entitled: Splashed Saddness - A Look at Negative EMS Emotions. While this is not the entirety of the artile, this is a nice excerpt that made me laugh (particularly the last part). Basically, there are three different stories from the writer, all of these are calls that he has run in his career. I find the comparison of the reactions between the two groups (laypeople and EMS folks) to be very accurate. Now, after reading this, perhaps you will understand part of why I am weird. (If you want to read the entirety of the article, here is the link.)

· A 16yo male takes his 24yo soon-to-be brother in law out into the city for the 24yo’s bachelor party. On the way home, they’re both just obliterated after drinking all night. The 16yo boy is driving home and is going way too fast to notice the semi hauling gravel that pulls into the right hand lane of the 4-lane road they’re driving on. The kid notices it at the last second, swerving just in time to impact the passenger side of the car against the back of the semi trailer. The impact shears off the left side of the 24yo’s skull, popping out the left side of his brain and leaving it, mostly intact, in between the front seats of the car (I almost put my knee into it). The 24yo dies a not-so-immediate death (I don’t want to get into it. Hopefully it was mostly painless). I pronounced the 24yo dead and took care of this very intoxicated 16yo. He was barely able to comprehend the terror of the situation and was covered in blood and brains that formerly belonged to the man his sister was going to marry. He was unhurt but I ran him into the hospital anyway. How could I leave him there immersed in the terror of that scene, in the terror of what he was more or less responsible for?

The first few days

I have survived the first few days of the next to last semester of my undergrad schooling. Though not always easy or pleasant, I made it (and what that is worth achieving is easy?). Here's how the first few days went...

Tuesday, I walked into my film/English class not knowing who my instructor would be. (According to my schedule, the instructor was "TBA" -- and even a week into school, it still says that.) She seems to be nice. Currently, she lives 3 hours away from Boone. She is trying to move up here soon...but we'll see. This class seems like it will be more-or-less fun. I'm not sure yet (but I've either never seen or never had an interest in the films we are required to watch). After that, I went to my biological psychology class. I think this will be the highlight of my week (for classes, anyway). It is about all kinds of stuff I already know...and lots of things I don't that will build on the knowledge that I already have. Following that, it was my sociology class ("Social Problems in America"). I do NOT think I will enjoy this class. My professor is strange and I am required to do a 20-hour (volunteer) service learning project that investigates a social problem I want to know more about. Well, that's all my job is (mostly, anyway). I have an appreciation and an understanding of social problems in America ...so why do I have to do this? Oh well...

Wednesday, I had one class: New Testament. I think it will be interesting to see solely the academic view on it. My professor is a local pastor but from the first day I can already see that we don't agree on a fair number of things.

Pre-semester thoughts.

The countdown has begun for the completion of my bachelor degree: 32 weeks. With that in mind, I will give some pre-semester thoughts and do some reflection on the past.

January 2005: I began my college career this semester at Campbell University with a double-major of athletic training and biology and aspirations of a career in orthopedic surgery. After a disappointing year, I realized I hated going to school there so I left in December. I have returned to the campus once to visit a friend. That's it. There are many bad memories associated with that place and I prefer not to relive them.

January 2006: After leaving Campbell, I began working on a medical program that I could do in less than four years. In fact, I did it in 3 months. I obtained two certifications: CNA-I and HHA. At this point, neither of these certifications mean very much. Four and a half years later, I have let the certifications lapse. I did use them for about a year and a half working with a wonderful teenage girl who had a brain injury as a result of a ruptured AVM. (During this semester, I also took classes at NC State which I enjoyed a lot.)

August 2006: I started a medical program which would take up the next two years of my schooling. I began working on my EMS degree that would allow me to obtain my EMT-Paramedic certification. I really enjoyed this program and tended to excel in it. It was a tough program but, in the end, I made it through.

Stomach-churning content. Readers beware.

I told you that I might decide to share the story about the worst thing I have ever smelled or seen and I think I have decided to do it. So, if this title caught your eye and you have a weak stomach (or just ate), I suggest you skip this post and go to the next.

I get to work, right? Right. (Just go with it.) I put my things on the truck and go through it to check to be sure everything that I may need for the day is on it and stocked. We were good to go. Soon after completing the check, my partner and I find ourselves being dispatched to a sick call. The comments on our computer state that there is a malfunction with the patient's colostomy bag.

Let me explain a few things to those who are not medically inclined. First: a colostomy (colo -- colon, ostomy -- a surgically created opening) is hole that is made in the abdomen that bring a healthy piece of colon to the surface so that the feces produced have an alternate method of exiting the body. This can be done for a number of reasons, such as colon cancer. A bag is placed over the ostomy to collect these feces. Second: a malfunction of some device would typically refer to a "clog" or something of that nature, most definitely not what we found.

Trouble comes in 3's

Do you know the saying "bad things always come in 3's"? It's true! Although, I think I need to alter the statement: "bad things come in 3's or more".

I am coming off of a 3-day work stretch tonight. I spent Monday, Tuesday and today, Wednesday, on a rig. I had a fabulous time! ...for the most part. A few rough calls but I made it through (and all of my patients got to the hospital alive). The Sundays that I am home, I volunteer my medical expertise at church and provide on-site care to anyone who may fall ill or get hurt (the first is usually the adults and the latter is usually the kids). I enjoy what I do there. And, people think I'm crazy because I have voices in my head while I am "working there" (an ear piece to the radio). The funniest part is that sometimes, if you are close to me, you will hear the voices too. So, I can confidently say that it is NOT all in my head.

Well, as the story goes, I was on-duty this past Sunday at church. Usually there is a doctor and a nurse on-call as well, but for the past two weeks, these people have not been there. Our head of the safety and security team decided to skip out on the day (to move his daughter into school) so we had a thought that we would have some trouble. Without fail, if he is not there, trouble starts to happen.

I got in about 8:45 that morning, grabbed my radio and walked around until service at 9:30. No trouble then. Smooth sailing through the hour. The second "hour" started at 11 am and had no problems at the beginning of that hour. I went to my class and about 11:30, I was alerted to the fact that a child had fallen on the playground and I needed to come make sure he was okay. He was. He just took a little tumble as he tried to jump off of the equipment and be adventurous, like little boys are. Crisis averted. I returned to class. Around 12:00, I received another message that an older lady was unconscious. I made my way over to her and found her conscious, alert and oriented. From what the people said around her, it sounded like she had had a mini-stroke (also called a TIA). She had some facial drooping on the left side but she had equal on both sides of her body with a clear speech pattern. After sitting with her for a few minutes (while doing all of my paramedic-y things), she had a 15 second episode of slurred speech and then it was right back to normal. EMS (the real paramedics with an ambulance) was called to come and take care of this sweet older lady. When they arrived, I was very familiar with the paramedic on the truck as I have worked with him in the past. He looked at me with a puzzled look and then looked over at his preceptee and told her "you can get report from [me]". So, she was transported but I do not know exactly what happened with her and how she is now.

That was the morning. I know that trouble comes in 3's (or more). For example, if there is a code in the county, there will be at least 2 more in a short amount of time following the first. The same goes for car accidents, shootings and stabbings (the last two are usually grouped together). So, thinking ahead, I came back to the evening service in the event something was going to happen. I knew it would happen Sunday night or Monday morning at work. Sunday evening was quiet. Monday morning started out with a bang.

On the death of friends

Throughout my high school career, close to a dozen friends died within a two year period. That is a lot of deaths to occur within that short of a time span, no matter someone's age. The "last" of these deaths came the first week of my senior year of high school. This guy, arguably my best friend at that point in time, tragically ended his life.

I did not handle the situation very well. I was deeply saddened and even distraught over his death. He was 21 years old, and his birthday was only 3 days before his death. He was getting ready to return to Appalachian State for another year of school. Obviously, that did not happen.

This was a rough way to start that senior year for me. I quickly decided to graduate in December and move on to college, thinking that I could run away from my problems by closing my "high school" chapter and continuing on to the "college" chapter. I thought that everything would disappear. But no. It didn't. I still had to face the reality of death and losing people that I care about.

As of this past Thursday, it has been 6 years since this dear friend died. I still think of him often. While I know I am confident that I will see him again, it still can be difficult. I miss his laughter and big hugs. I have forgotten what his voice sounds like and I have started to forget what he looks like. That is the thing I hate about death: I begin to forget the sound of their voice and what they look like. As hard as I try not to, that is what I forget. And that is what I miss.

"I understand that you're in pain but..."

This is a phrase that none of my patients like to hear. As soon as you say you "understand", they usually fly into a sermon about how you don't understand because you've never been in such pain like they are now. The other part, the "but", gets people too. Basically, it is my reasons why I am "causing" their pain. And they really don't like that.

Some of the reasons include:

- this is the best thing for you

- I have given you all of the pain medication that I can

Nobody likes those "excuses". Today, I had a patient who drove herself to her physician's office. She was involved in a car accident about 3 weeks ago and has been having increasing pain, numbness and tingling along the left side of her body since then. The physician was worried about a cervical spine fracture (very, very bad). So, in order to transport her in the best way to protect her neck, we had to put a collar around her neck to help her remember to keep it still and we put her on a long spine board (which are very uncomfortable). She was not happy with me for requiring this of her and even after explaining the reasons why (i.e.: keep her neck and back straight, protect the spinal cord to prevent more damage, prevent paralysis, keep her breathing...) she was still not thrilled with me. However, she managed to get on there and lay relatively flat.

A project

On this, my first full day back home, I started to collect some items to take back to Boone with me. I was rummaging through my bookshelf and the mountain of books on it and came across a particular book (really, a binder) that I have had for years. This book contains many poems and stories from my great-grandmother (Mom's grandmother). I was fortunate enough to know this amazing lady for more than 17 years. It's been a little over 5 years since she passed away. Up until the last week of her life (at the age of 99), she was still able to walk (with assistance from a walker or cane), talk, feed and take care of herself. She lived in an assisted living facility for the last 6 years (or thereabouts) and prior to that, she lived in her own home, by herself. She kept it up and cooked and cleaned. I can only hope to be that well off if I make it to that age.

Anyway, Great-Grandmama (as I called her), was a school teacher. She taught 2nd and 3rd grade in Micro (yes, that is a real town and it does live up to its name) for MANY years. I have actually had some of her students as my patients (that's a different story all together, though). She was also the oldest of 13 children (the youngest of her siblings was her daughter's, my grandmother, age).

Going home!

After spending the majority of the summer in Boone, I am heading home this afternoon for the better part of two weeks. I have really enjoyed being in Boone during the summer months. It is so much cooler up here than at home. Here: 80's. Home: 90's and 100's with even higher heat indexes. I am not looking forward to the heat (nor having to work in the heat) but it will be nice to be home for a while.

Despite the extreme heat, I am really looking forward to getting back on the rig. I miss working when I am here at school -- but by the time I have worked all of my break away, I am ready to get back to school. I am ready to see what these next two weeks will hold for me, what kind of surprises work will throw at me and what kind of silliness it will throw at me. Perhaps I will have some interesting stories to share. :)

Fire alarms

I feel like complaining about fire alarms.

Saturday night, my (absolutely wonderful) boyfriend cooked a delicious meal for us. As he was making final preparations on the meal before it was served, the fire alarm started going off. My fire alarm (which makes it go off for the whole building).

Why, might you ask? Well, I don't know. There was no smoke in the apartment, just some minor steam that was floating above the stove top. Nothing more. It was a little on the warm side in the apartment, more humid than anything. But it still went off...for several minutes. I climbed a stool (quite the site, I am certain) to press the button to make it stop squawking. When I would let go, it would start squawking again. Finally, after opening the windows and shooing in the clear, cool air from outside, the alarm ceased.

However, last night about 12:30am, the alarm went off again (not mine this time, but somewhere in the building it was going off and made all the alarms go off). I was studying for my exam in chemistry that I had this morning when it went off. I got myself dressed in some real clothes that could keep me warm in the crisp night air and gathered some entertainment (iPod Touch), my phone, my wallet and keys before marching outside to stand in the parking lot and wait for the fire department to arrive and give the all-clear sign (that took a while too -- much longer than it should have. I'll say this, (I believe this is a national standard) chute times should be less than 90 seconds at night -- this exceeded that. I contemplated crawling in the car to stay warm but toughed it out. Finally got back upstairs close to 1am and decided God was telling me to go to bed (my concentration was interrupted by the alarm, thus it was bedtime).

And, yet again today, 4:45pm-ish the alarm went off. Again. I was getting ready to leave anyway so I finished gathering my things and walked to the car and left.

Hopefully this problem of an over-reactive fire alarm system will be fixed soon. I would like to get some sleep this week seeing that it is the last week of class. It is more of a nuisance than anything but if I have to have the system over-reactive or under-reactive, I would (fortunately or not) chose to have it over-reactive.