First off, I'm borrowing this from
EMS1.com. Somehow, they got my work email address (not sure how I feel about that one because I certainly don't give that one out) and they end me emails about some of their columns. Anyway, one of their columns last week was written by Kelly Grayson, who I quickly recognized as the author of a book I have:
A Paramedic's Story: Life, Death and Everything In Between. Good book. If you're interested in some of the finer points of EMS and don't think I share them completely, his book might give you some insight. (Either his, or I would recommend
Blood, Sweat and Tea by Tom Reynolds.)
But you came to hear about the top ten words that should be in the EMS dictionary but aren't...not Suzanne's book club recommendations.
At number 10 -- "incarceritis: a constellation of medical complaints brought upon the imminent threat of legal confinement. Symptoms include, but are not limited to: dyspnea, chest pain, syncope, seizures, incontinence and coma."
Number 9 -- "malignorance: combination of the words 'malignant' and 'ignorance,' when ordinary, every day 'stupid' doesn't even begin to describe the patient's behavior."
Number 8 -- "tachylawdia: condition in which the patient or family member repeats 'Lawdy!' more than 100 times per minute. The condition often presents with PJCs (Premature Jesus Complexes) and, depending upon the patient's religious fervor, intermittent 'Amens.' Often considered a hallmark sign of status dramaticus.
Example: 'The patient exhibited tachylawdia with bigeminal PJCs and intermittent Amens.'"
Coming in at number 7 -- "polybabydaddia: condition affecting females under age 25, who have three of more children by different fathers."
Number 6 -- "status dramaticus: disorder in which the patient exhibits seizure-like activity characterizes the lack of urinary incontinence, presence of coordinated muscle movements, and the absence of an appreciable postictal state.
Patients suffering from status dramaticus usually skips the tonic phase altogether. The condition is often exacerbated by an audience of medical professionals or concerned family members. Usually, the seizure-like activity is broken by the insertion of a nasopharyngeal airway or the phrase 'hold still, big stick...'
Sub acute status dramaticus may often mimic tachylawdia, and many experts believe they are the same disorder."