Stomach-churning content. Readers beware.

I told you that I might decide to share the story about the worst thing I have ever smelled or seen and I think I have decided to do it. So, if this title caught your eye and you have a weak stomach (or just ate), I suggest you skip this post and go to the next.

I get to work, right? Right. (Just go with it.) I put my things on the truck and go through it to check to be sure everything that I may need for the day is on it and stocked. We were good to go. Soon after completing the check, my partner and I find ourselves being dispatched to a sick call. The comments on our computer state that there is a malfunction with the patient's colostomy bag.

Let me explain a few things to those who are not medically inclined. First: a colostomy (colo -- colon, ostomy -- a surgically created opening) is hole that is made in the abdomen that bring a healthy piece of colon to the surface so that the feces produced have an alternate method of exiting the body. This can be done for a number of reasons, such as colon cancer. A bag is placed over the ostomy to collect these feces. Second: a malfunction of some device would typically refer to a "clog" or something of that nature, most definitely not what we found.

So, my partner and I waltz down the driveway to the house an before we could step one foot in the door, we were knocked off of our feet by a not-so-pleasant smell. I found my patient, laying sideways on the bed, covered in feces. The bed was soiled and the floor dirtied with the same. My partner had to excuse herself before she walked into the bedroom and left me there. As the story gets pieced together, the patient's husband states he found her like this when he came home from work. He also states that she has a history of seizures and that her level of consciousness is consistent with her history. It appears that during her seizure, he colostomy bag burst. She was covered in feces from her neck...all the way down to her feet. My partner could not walk in there so I had to get the fire department to come help me (hoping their stomach was stronger than hers). We made our way to the truck after attempting (very unsuccessfully) to clean the patient up a little bit.

I am glad she was not very alert for the simple reason that I would not have wanted her to understand exactly how she looked. I felt bad for her. I can still smell it and I feel physically ill as a result. She was taken to the hospital and they took care of her and made her all better.

The only way I got through that call was breathing through my mouth and not my nose. I am not a mouth-breather...but I learned to be one for a while today.

(If this is not enough for you, just image stuff that should be in your body or the toilet everywhere on you, your bed and floor. Imagine the smell. Maybe now it makes more sense.)